Guest Speaker: Maisie Soetantyo, BA on RDI Relationship Development Intervention
Core challenges of children with autism
- Low self awareness
- Getting and holding onto a job requires collaboration but autism makes this difficult because it’s hard to consider the other person’s perspective.
Communication
- Working hard to get anything out of them
- When they don’t respond then you get more and more anxious
- Communication has nothing to do with spoken word but they say it so many other ways
- Response doesn’t mean that you have to entertain them because when you do that you don’t force them to step up to the plate (you are not the entertainer)
- When you take this entertainment away you will see an anxious child
- What kind of a relationship do I have with my child?
- Children need time to process
- Avoid Barking orders, questions, instructions
- Instead Slow your speech and try to relate
- Change the way you communicate – what an RDI consultant will help you with
- Dinner table, changing the conversation
- Give the child more time to process, giving them the change to change what you’re thinking
- Showing them something new (like a present) in an inviting manner
- Don’t just use static communication: (just verbal) using words and just talking without connecting
- You’re trying to make a connection through the way you’re communicating
- Dinner table, changing the conversation
- Expecting more and setting boundaries – 2 big things!
- Expect them to do it (even if they are watching you for 30 seconds)
- Build that trust
- The kid usually thinks you want something and so they don’t want to put themselves out there
- Looking is an active process
- Understanding gestures
- Communication is very fluid and kids don’t always get this and they get easily frustrated
- Life beyond autism: having balance in your life and make sure you’re taking care of yourself
- Helping parents to communicate with each other
- They forget about planning/dreaming for the future
- What’s important for you as a family
- Achievable goals to get to where you want to go
- RD: parent coaches with a short intake (1.5hrs)
- Child will want to be around you more
- As the child relaxes more, then they want to play
- They start doing things they feel confident about
- Choosing to do productive things
- Videos
- It’s about expecting him stepping up to the plate and building the trust
- When he feels trusted, he stays with her (able to filter information – what’s in the foreground and background)
- Parents relax when they see that their child is competent (instead of becoming anxious and stepping to problem solve for them so that they don’t learn to think)
- Trust has to be built
- When you slow down your activity it pays off
- You see more opportunities
- Give your child more time to process and learn
- If they can build a relationship with you then they will want to build relationships with other people
